Saturday 28 April 2012

How do you tell if someone doesn't have children?

I made it my mission to find a suggestion for Olivia's pinterest board
http://pinterest.com/oliviareading/childless-and-child-free-women/
In this research I was reminded that it is actually quite difficult to tell if a woman is childless - in fact it's really only by the absence of a mention of children that you guess that they don't have children.

I really want to suggest Chellis Glendinning.  She is an eco-psychologist in the US (well she lives in Bolivia now I think) and I read her book 'My Name is Chellis and I am in Recovery from Western Civilisation' over 15 years ago.  It made a lot of sense to me.  I still have this quote from the book in my book of quotes (p13,14):

Visualise a distance of one hundred feet: the length of a basketball court plus 6 feet more.  Imagine that this distance represents the last 1 million years of existence of the creatures who have become Homo sapiens.  Fasten your seatbelts: the last one fifth of an inch of this hundred feet represents the length of time that we have lived in mass technological civilisation, with the assumptions about life and reality that you and I are taught to assume as 'normal'.  Not very long and conceivably not very normal.

But I really don't know if she is childfree.  There is no mention in anything I've read about her of a husband or children, but while absence is conspicuous it doesn't prove anything, she may just like to keep her private life private.  If she is childfree I want her included as she is a bit of a role model for me I guess - but how do I find out??

2 comments:

  1. I've had a look around the net and I can't tell either, but I did love her own description of her day-to-day life (and it's easy to see why you find her inspiring!):

    "I spend my days in very disparate ways. Sometimes I see clients, mostly clients who have post-traumatic stress disorder, and helping them to heal from that. Or I engage in local political things. Or I leave and go to a city somewhere and give a lecture. Or I write articles, or I work on other books. Or I work in my garden."

    I've tried not to include any living women who haven't publicly discussed their non-motherhood, just in case its something they're not comfortable with, but I do collect their stories just for my own inspiration anyway, and this is such a fabulous addition!

    ReplyDelete
  2. "I've tried not to include any living women who haven't publicly discussed their non-motherhood, just in case its something they're not comfortable with"

    That is reasonable.

    Yes I love the way she describes her life as well, and most things I could see myself doing. But as much as I'd like the confidence and feeling that I had enough to say to be giving lectures, I think in reality I would prefer to spend that time lazing in the bath or playing a meaningless game of backgammon or cards with friends.

    ReplyDelete