Sunday, 1 April 2012

Wired for Love

I'm reading a great book at the moment - Wired for Love, by Stan Tatkin.  Stan is a psychologist and the focus is on neuropsychology and attachment styles.  It is written for couples, rather than singles looking for love, but I think it is still applicable for those looking for love such as myself.  He seperates people into anchors (securely attached), islands (avoidant) and waves (anxious, ambivalent).  I would classify myself as partially a wave and thus I can jeopardise relationships by my fears of being abandoned.  He outlines 10 key principles that can help you get you and your partners brain working for love rather than war.  A few of my favourtite principles are:
  • Creating a 'couple bubble' allows partners to keep each other safe and secure
  • Partners should serve as the primary go to people for one another
  • Partners should prevent each other from being a third wheel when relating to others
  • Partners who want to stay together should learn to fight well
The type of relationship he describes sounds pretty wonderful - also pretty aspirational as well, but I guess one has to have aspirations.

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